i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
