woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
