they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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