Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
