direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Come on in and take your pants off
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
