Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
