I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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