So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
