I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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