I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
