Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize