Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
