This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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