dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
they need to just BURY HIM!
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
