You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
i out mim tonsoeep
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
