Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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