Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
