You made me cry and you don't even care
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
