So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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