Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
