Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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