this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
