toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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