oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Randomize
