Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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