you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
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