Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
