talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
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