you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
