i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
