Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
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