i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
