I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
