So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
