Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
you never un-have a 4some
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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