I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
