We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
