Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
