Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Randomize
