Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I am full of burrito and curiosity
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
