Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
