My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
