He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
