Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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