Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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