I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
