Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
