real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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