i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
