i don't plan on having that self control this summer
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
