direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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