I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
porn star boner night. come get it.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
